


recovering

by soverysesual



Series: there is no return to normalcy [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers, major infinity war spoilers, spoilers for Infinity War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:17:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14455023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soverysesual/pseuds/soverysesual
Summary: (Contains Spoilers from Infinity War Part 1)Peter wonders what happened, what changed.  Tony hovers.





	recovering

**Author's Note:**

> well this is a messy jumble of emotions. 
> 
> This is the first thing I've ever written for this universe, so apologies if it's ooc or anything. 
> 
> SPOILERS AHEAD BTW !!!

Tony hovers.

Not that it bothers Peter too much.  If anything, he can’t quite fathom the fact that his idol, of all people, is choosing to hang around him all the time. It really is  _all the time._

And Tony won’t explain why.

Not that Peter has asked.  He knows better than that, but he knows  _something_  happened.  Something that Tony won’t, maybe even can’t, talk about.  He sees it in the look in Tony’s eyes whenever Tony finds him after Peter is out of his line of sight for just a little too long.  He can tell by the way Tony speaks to him now, like every single word means  _everything._ Like it might be the last.

When Thanos was defeated, Peter came to on Titan remembering practically nothing (which Peter won’t admit absolutely scares him to his core).  Tony was the first person Peter saw when he woke, and Peter knows he missed something huge, because Tony seemed to be way past “losing it.”  He had pulled Peter into his arms, and any joke about them finally being at a hugging point was lost in Peter’s throat, because  _Tony was crying_ and Peter was trying not to panic, because Tony Stark can’t be  _crying_.  He’s pretty sure Tony kept saying  _you’re alive_  through his tears, but Peter couldn’t quite hear him, and was almost to afraid to ask.  Peter had started crying too but he just didn’t know  _why_  because everything was a blur and felt like a dream, and there seem to be memories that are just missing, and nothing made sense.

But they were safe, and Earth - the  _universe -_ was safe.

Yet everything was... different.  Different in a way that not a single being who survived can quite articulate.  Almost no one seems to know why things seem different, except for a small group of the Avengers, who look like they’ve been to hell and back.  But no one is talking about what happened, and no one seems willing to ask.  The world is safe now, and every is ready to just move on, or at least pretend to.  The Avengers saved the world (again), and paid the price for it.  But what the price was, remains for the most part, a complete mystery to the entire world, even to many of the people who had done the fighting.

Peter can tell that something has changed though, that something big happened.  Peter  _feels_  different; he feels it in his bones. 

And Tony? Tony just hovers.

Peter never complains, and instead actively sticks around Tony, because he knows its helping.  Or at least he hopes it is.  He finds ways to visit Tony and Pepper a lot so that Tony doesn’t have to be the one to ask, because he knows how stubborn he is and that he never would ask as much as he clearly wants to.  Pepper and May both seem to catch on that Tony needs Peter right now.  For how long? No one is sure, but they all work together to keep Peter around  without really even discussing it.  

There’s also a part of Peter that _needs_  to be around Tony.  It’s another thing on Peter’s lists of questions he doesn’t have answers to right now.  Normally he’d chalk it up to the whole “needing a father-figure” thing like he had done before the war.  But this is different.  The force dragging him to be near his mentor during any of his free time is almost magnetic, and he doesn’t have the energy, nor any desire at all, to fight it.

Peter learns that just talking to Tony seems to help, especially when Tony gets  _that look_ across his face.  Before the war, he was always stressed that he was talking too much.  Now, he feels like he can’t possibly be talking enough.  He talks about nothing he considers “important”, but just talks, letting his voice wash over Tony.  He occasionally makes sure to engage Tony when he looks particularly like he’s about to lose himself.  But Peter never talks about anything that  _happened_ (mostly because he still doesn’t even know what the hell had happened).  He stays away from topics that even come close to the concept of space (he’s even stopped talking about  _Star Wars_... too risky).  He focuses the conversations instead on what he’s learning at school, what new movie he and Ned plan to see, that he might have a crush on MJ but he just doesn’t know if she feels the same.  The conversations are light and seemingly meaningless, but Tony is clearly eating every single syllable up, and is clearly wanting to get involved in every aspect of Peter’s life, and Peter is most definitely not about to say no.

And Peter knows Tony is listening, even if at times Tony doesn’t seem altogether... there.  Tony’s replies are always interested and thoughtful.  Tony has follow up questions, not just in the moment, but days later.  Tony starts showing up to stuff because he remembers.  Peter really never expected, nor even needed him, to actually be paying attention (because all of it was about Tony, not himself), but he’s grateful nonetheless.

It isn’t until Peter stays the weekend at the compound that he even comes close to breeching The Topic with Tony.  He’s getting a midnight snack when Tony appears in the kitchen.  He’s sweating and looks like hell, and neither of them speak at first.  Peter pours Tony a glass of water as Tony sinks onto the closest barstool, and Peter puts a hand on his mentor’s shoulder.

“I know you’re gonna say you don’t want to talk about it, but if you change your mind, I’m ready and willing to listen,” Peter says, squeezing Tony’s shoulder.  Tony just closes his eyes and brings a shaking hand to his forehead.

“I  _can’t..._ ” Tony whispers. Peter nods.

“Well, I’m here, okay?” Peter replies, and suddenly Tony is crying and clinging to Peter and it feels just like when Peter woke on Titan all over again, and once again Peter just doesn’t know what to  _do._

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark.  We’re okay.  Everything will be okay,” Peter repeats over and over again.  Tony just cries for a while, and Peter is at a complete loss for what to do.  So he stays there, embracing his mentor and waiting for this to just pass.

Finally, Tony calms down a little to speak.

“Pete,” he mutters, his voice coarse and full of emotion, “I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.” Peter sighs, still not knowing what to do or say; he just squeezes Tony harder.

“I’m sorry,” he responds, not sure of what else to say, but it seems to be the wrong thing because Tony pulls away and looks Peter straight in the eyes.

“Peter Parker, you have absolutely  _nothing_  to be sorry about,” Tony says with a ferocity Peter has never witnessed.  Peter frowns and nods. 

“Okay.”

They sit there for awhile, and Tony still seems on edge and Peter has a question he knows he needs to ask now or he’ll never get a chance to again.

“I died out there... in space... didn’t I?  During... whatever that was.  I died.”  It starts as a question, but ends as a statement, because he knows the truth deep down.  He just needs confirmation from Tony, because it’s almost worse  _not_  knowing at this point.

Tony doesn’t look at him.  He just stares at the wall, and nods once.

This time, it’s Peter who hugs Tony, and Tony hugs back and once again they stay like that for a while in silence.  Peter doesn’t even know how to wrap his head around any of this, but it somehow it makes sense.  Somehow it explains the... emptiness he’s felt for months.  And it must’ve been more than just him, based on what he’s observed since they returned.  But he doesn’t dare ask more, because he’s already gotten away with much more than he ever thought he would.  He doesn’t even thinking he can bring himself to ask anything else: this is already too much.  But Peter does realize something in that moment.

“You saved me,” Peter whispers, another rhetorical question. Tony doesn’t respond.  “Whatever you did  _saved_  me.” He repeats, with the gravity of the situation weighing truly weighing on the teen now.  It’s his turn to get choked up. “ _Thank you,_  Tony.”

Tony pulls back and sees tears streaming down Peter’s face.

“You’re my kid,” Tony says, simply. “I’ll always save you.”

**Author's Note:**

> some people???? write fanfic???? to cope???????


End file.
